39. I don't understand yet
I didn't not understand life,
Is a recurring line always in hype.
I cook, I read,
I take care of my little seed.
But then I have to die.
I lived with my father,
I wait for him hither.
But then I too have to die.
I anger, I peace too,
Now pleased, now foo.
And I will die too.
I don't understand life
18th Nov 2025
Sonai
-------------------------
38. The Mad Women
Show me a sane woman!
Unkeeled by men?
Molest and why set falsely free?
Rape and justify my me?
Eve-tease and miscomment,
Awake or in sleep, always discontent.
Betray even the- tall, fair or pretty,
Do you not know that you are also giddy?
She should be rich too,
Your broke state is your father's or mother's flu?
In the form of brother, husband or even so-called father,
You are hitter, cheater or bogger.
Better you had not keeled but killed us,
Then filled her with your hidden pus.
Insane- the old first and last allege,
Truly- keep using it as your hedge.
13th July 2025
Sonai
------------------------
37. Intention
Well, they asked your religion
Before killing your brother.
The four asked you to read Kalma
Before killing your father.
They heated if you read the book
Before killing your son.
What is my fault?
What have I done?
Where did my Prophet direct
To kill your men like that?
You have again flooded the net
With toxicity for me & my Prophet.
We are ashamed
We are speechless too.
My memory line got haunted forever too
With the scene of trauma and pain
Of that young Widow sister!
I still believe in the Paradise
I will believe!
What my Prophet's God said:
"Intention is Superior to Salat."
-------------------------
36. Fifty years
I am going to be!
Unbelievably
I have finished
Time is Conjuror
Criminal!
It not just snatched
But hid so well!
That I do not know
Where to search!
Me & my father.
These rains
These fragrances
Of earth
Where do they
Thin and melt
Or hide
Return!
I keep on thinking
Where and how to search!
-------------------------
35. Your Shirt
I wore
Your shirt today
And I cried
Again.
Now
You need not
Worry.
Your weak daughter
Is growing up
Without you
For the first time.
Your old daughter
Is growing up
Now
With and Without you.
Now
No themes
Of these poems
Attract me
Except you.
You
Still remain
My Muse
Forever and ever.
-------------------------
34. The Prelude
Your death,
Is the Prelude
To mine!
When I see,
Your young photos
You look too far away!
I don't want this!
Not so far
By each day or moment.
Before that,
I want come
To you.
Please
-------------------------
33. Creature!
Expelled by mothers!
Distanced by sisters!
Beaten by brothers!
Lied by fathers!
Framed by in-laws!
Disrespected by husbands!
Which God is responsible?
Who made these Lucks?
When is the Stop?
What is the Cause?
Where is her Normal?
Father’s house is temporary.
Husband’s house is in rent.
Son’s house is equally scary.
Some women abuse,
Some men mock,
Some women hate,
Some men molest,
Such a creature!
To amuse?
To chore?
To earn?
-----------
32. After we Exit
I know no immorality,
After We die!
I do not want to know thee Immortality,
After We exit!
You are fool or mad!
Cheater or futile!
How will You catch us?
After We exit!
I am not foolish.
Not greedy, insane or cheater
Like you.
Get lost out of my veins & veils!
If you are capable any!
Immortalise Us Now.
-----------------------------------
31. The Heart
If you had seen,
The wounded heart,
You would have shreiked! Screamed! Pity,
Or, mock.
If you had seen,
The eyes of the heart,
You would have regretted,
Or, pinched.
If you had seen,
The thinnest ash and the thickest moist,
You would have ignored,
Or, forgotten.
-------------------------
30. When I exit
When I will leave the world, I will miss the beautiful earth-
Its moon
The bright sun
My father's bougainville
The butterflies
My father's homes
My rooms
The bazar,
Where I father walked & drove.
His college, his equal house.
The masjids, he sat & prayed.
My daughter's voice
Her fragrance
Her good life, I shall miss.
But, if I unite with,
My father
And, his mother- to whom I am indebted for giving me her best child as father,
I will cherish exiting
This world.
But with unending prayers
For my sweet daughter.
-------------------------
29. Her
I think, I will not witness her grow
I think, I will not witness her evolve
I think, I will not witness her life
My thoughts & words,
Will go waste.
My warns and warmths,
Will go wants.
May be, I will not see her children
May be, I will not see her man
May be, I will not see her home
I Miss her each day
I Miss her by each day
I Miss her now
Yet, I wish bestest without me.
Yet, I wish safest without me.
Yet, I wish healthiest without me.
---------------------
28. The Prayer
You must never had read about,
Such Prayer.
Where a daughter contracts with,
The Wali-
“You take me instead and give my father,
His deserving hundred years.”
The world he too adorned,
The world he loved more than me,
“Then let him avail it for twenty years more. “
The truest Prayer.
Only keep yourself near me,
After your few more years are spent too,
I am sure you will make my girl, your girl again,
The Prayer.
-------------------------
27. Handed down
Goondi noti,
juwanni shuorni,
kutti thoobli!
Daughters & daughters' daughters,
Habituated by such-
Gali galoj!
At home,
By own mothers,
Mothers' mothers.
Women puke women,
Women hurt women,
Women ballisto-punctured by women.
Holes that never cure,
Hill to traumas,
Handed down….
----------------------------------
26. I never became well again
Dearest Abba,
You shouldn’t have shown this love-depths,
That I never became well again,
Without You.
Dearest Abba,
You shouldn’t have balmed my bruises this deeply,
That I never became well again,
Without You.
Dearest Abba,
You shouldn’t have delivered me in this world so deeply,
That I never became well again,
Without You.
------------------------------------
25. The Father
My Life is about,
You & Me.
Life has nothing.
Our Story.
A Story of Love,
Of Happiness.
The story is a Flower,
In the waves of arrivals & departures.
They couldn’t overtake You,
They scared Us.
They scarred the hearts, birthed from You.
I don’t want to Miss You,
I don’t want to learn, how to live without You,
I would like to be erased, before You.
-------------------------------------------
24. Forever and Ever
Woman creates Woman,
Not just birth each other.
To fictively think bigger than man.
Woman sets man,
At homes.
To Finish other Women!
Woman picks the son,
In dingy rooms.
To slide the frenzied Daughter!
Woman insults other's Daughter,
In Kitchens.
To let not own the son!
Woman kills love too,
In the world.
To kill her own Girls!
Forever and ever.
---------------------------------------
23. GADDAR
Am I Gaddar?
Whom did I cheat?
Your land?Your animals?
Your mother? Your men?
I am gaddar!
Which do I love?
Bagistan and Burj?
Holy lanes and deserts?
Am I gaddar?
Twin scaled?
Rammed Aried?
Twin Phished!
Or, just Unsunned!
Gaddar?
Were
Tipu & Jina?
Shammi & Rana?
Gaddar!
Now?
Three's cool gal?
The hijabi?
The beardy?
Gaddar?
Crooked?
Culted?
Raped?
And...??
November 2021
-----------------------------------------------------------
22. Dearest Paradise!
Like the surprise of life!
You too surprise me Please!
I hear you have Scented Grasses for me!
Golden Branches!
Golden Roots!
Softest Fruits!
Ah!
YOU PLEASE BE gentle with me!
I hear you have Sweet Wines for me!
Seven-tens clothes!
Thinnest Ribs!
With lights from the skins!
I hear you have One More Free-est Heart for me!
Mighty Prophets!
Their Mighty Mothers!
And their Lord!
Ah!
Dearest Paradise,
YOU PLEASE BE gentle with me!
Dearest Paradise,
Will I not miss the sounds of earth!
Will I not miss the benign eyes of my father!
Dearest Paradise,
Hold my sad heart with peace.
Hold my cold hands with warmth.
Will I not miss the wide sunlight!
Will I not miss the gentle moon!
Dearest Paradise,
Treat my deep heart with love!
Treat my puffed fleshes with a bit of kindness!
Will I not miss the fragrance of earthly leaves!
Will I not miss, even the tastes of bitter fruits!
Dearest Paradise,
Complete my life,
End my death.
November 2021
----------------------------------------------------
21. Death-Anxiety
"No Ma, Please you don't die."
"All children live without mothers
Now or later.
Watch your Nana!
His mother loved him the most.
He loved her the most.
Today, they live without each other,
From twenty three years!"
Love and care is a feeling,
Revering,
Realizing.
Love and care never stop our lives,
Inside or outside,
The graves.
With mothers,
We might be at pain.
With fathers,
We are left without gain.
Without mothers,
There might be loves.
Without fathers,
There might be izzot-hubs.
November 2021
--------------------------------------------------------
20. Sad winter butters
'Shut Biryani shops'!
Bangal beaten by cops!
Sad winter butters,
Breaking old slumbers.
Thirty years Wars
and in two Great Wars!
They killed their others!
We were then brothers!
I miss my asifa,
Hidden in rasana.
Drummed nellie!
Haiderbhai's wife now uncanny.
December 2021
-------------------------------------------
19. The FALSE Race!
Can you tell, How?
Are Tipu's sons now!
Can you tell, How?
Are Mughals selling tea now!
Can you tell, How?
Is Nizam's sons suiciding now!
Can you tell, How?
Are Siraj's sons plain teachers in now!
Can you tell, How?
Is Jinnah's dear sister now!
December 2021
-------------------------------------------------
18. Puncturewala
you,
brazen and barf!
fret and fume!
At me?
your,
myth is truth?
& my,
truth is myth?
your,
gold-shredded women are godly?
& my,
divine women are distressed?
your,?
men are pips?
& my,
men are puncturewalas?
December 2021
---------------------------------------------------
17. Dull lawned
I miss dadi's,
heavy, wise eyes,
I wonder ended when,
nani's serene smiles.
I still search my sasa's,
back-folded hands,
Regret that I was gusa
with a moi's heartlands.
Riyawat & Ahmed,
Zohaib & Saeed.
Dull lawned!
Now I am attached only to my Dead.
December 2021
---------------------------------------------
16. My father
My father is a hero!
I could never love,
phony, pagan nero,
For he was the only not guv.
If I die before you,
I will miss you in grave.
If I live more than you,
This life will be grave.
In duo tests
I shall prest.
So, take me with you!
Or here forever, I live with you!
December 2021
----------------------------------------------------
15. Mullahs
First you be secular with your own dalits,
In mughlai madarssas you weren't freed?
First you cure your castes,
Or else you will keep on becoming mullahs!
First ask swamy why Christians are wriggled now,
In Muslim history there's no sit-ups tow!
Shias or Sunnis never rolled ears of each other for being low,
Muslim books have no such scissors & saw!
December 2021
--------------------------------------------------------
14. Nurdles
Its a normal koum,
Struggling at home.
Will you cut the fingers!
If your son shows islam-hunger?
Our third eyes too do not hurdle,
Witnessing increasing nurdles.
Export these step-men,
To arab deserts & den!
December 2021
-------------------------------------------------------
13. Fatimna
Perfect, your Elsa & Ana?
None, my Fati & Amina?
Facebook & Twitter,
All fritter,
at latticed nets,
And tents.
Gurgaon, France and China,
Fought also by,
Rana, Saba & Arfa.
I am from your raped product?
& now how & what you say & act on me-
Are greatest conducts?
December 2021
--------------------------------------------------------
12. My mother
My lovely mother,
I don't want to miss you,
Live forever,
Without you, I want no day new.
My sweet mother,
May all your illnesses,
Cure forever!
Sadly I become too their witness.
My dearest mother,
How painfully you gave me birth!
At that moment your palest colour,
Was worst in earth.
My innocent mother,
Life is incomplete without you.
Not other ever,
I love only you true.
---------------------------------------
11. Life?
Life-
It's for food?
Or for matters screwed?
It's for good?
Or for dears? I brood.
Life-
It's for money?
& all other honey?
It's for sickness runny?
Which are never-ending tsunami.
Life-
It's for lovely clothes?
Or, jobbing oaths?
It's for fame?
Who I ask & blame!
----------------------------------------
10. Floaters and flashes
When I saw how my light is spent,
There's nothing better than one's own eyesight present.
The dryness, the tiredness,
Sadly, nothing can change the eye-fate despite all earnestness.
Floaters and flashes,
Gray shadows and swells.
The contracted vitreous,
Nothing can save anymore. Me piteous!
------------------------------------
9. Writing
While writing,
I am delighting.
I am not much fearful & shy.
My finger and head just simply ply.
Earlier I was embarrassed with myself,
Remained to self-blind & deaf.
Short & shortest life,
Why I shouldn't strife.
Not so great & good writing,
Yet I am delighting.
They set me free,
Why I not before foresee.
Simple writing,
Yet I am delighting.
-----------------------------
8. Not at all blind!
Blind me,
Or, blinded is the world to me.
You block me in YT,
Or, you block yourself in YT.
You catch me!
Or, you fall on me like wolves on a soft lump, me.
You feel victorious,
And I fall ill in a way laborious.
Your pent-up hate,
Or, my shock and bewilders is my fate.
Tom Falter or Jama Malini,
I realize that you groomed hate from long time how to carry me.
---------------------------------------
7. LAST
False fame,
Too temporary, it's flame.
Imagination & IQ,
Will not forever guide you.
I wonder & awe,
When the LAST times, I heard & remember & then saw.
They now feel fully unheard & untouched.
Each memory with them now feels fully unclutched.
I wonder & awe,
When the LAST times, I heard & remember & then saw.
--------------------------------------
6. Twenty-two rooms
Madanpur, Patelnagar,
Are now symbols of char.
Rapists now 'Good Behavioured?'
So, Bilkis's sinners Waivered?
By bulldozers,
Our houses pulled over.
Vyapi & Babri are your true,
Teargassing will take place outside the twenty-rooms too?
Digging & lathicharging,
Over our men flitting.
-----------------------------------
5. That thread
Licey!
Stinky & what else?
Farty!
Meat-eater useless snailshell?
You too have spikey, splitted hairs,
Teeth wrapped in foul mega layers.
& your hidden bums,
are how different than my chums!
You want me back?
Then, will you give,
That thread on my neck?
Well then with you I may think to live.
--------------------------------
4. What a Lovely war
Glassed in a firewalled submarine,
Has peeky ratlike eyes.
Moltens Karkhiv to Leviv in bloodfilled stream,
Deaf to cries, his heart dries.
Women think him handsome forever,
Men think him not a terror.
All clever!
He is unmuslimed & so fairer?
No mock, no taunt!
Such cold watch.
Nothing in you now haunt,
Over such botch.
Now, no hate no regret,
Or just petend to forget.
---------------------------
3. Viral
Mars and Cars,
Chips and dips.
Drone for treason,
Yet, contour Visioned.
Alexa and Sophia,
Are neuralinked.
Hyper shops,
Mega-mela and sales.
---------------------------------
2. Oh Beautiful Life
Award & badges
Soil my Self.
Leave me Alone
Leave me United.
Cameras & Videos
Instas & FBs!
Are
Detesting! Hateful!
Don't they tear
The Normal Self?
Don't they disunite
The Simple Self?
I feel lonlier
After reels
--------------------------
1. Heart in my hands Now!
I wish I could take out my heart and see how it looks now!
How much bruised it is now!
How much dry it is now!
How much red?
How much burnt?
Hollowed and puffed by pain thuds?
How much dusty now?
How much shrunk?
How much inked?
How much weak?
And if a few strengths left?
How much warm yet?
How much still?
A dead, stinky, rubbery now?
Or, a submitted, surrendered, limping lump only?
Powdered forever now?
Brittled forever now?
I wish I could take out my heart now and see how it looks now!
---------------------------------------
